In Spanish, the word casa can be used to refer to "house" or "home". The word hogar, on the other hand, is used exclusively to signify one's "home." To me, these two words are incredibly different and I never use them interchangeably.
Today, I mentioned to my friend that I was going home for Christmas... To which she responded, "Where do you consider to be your home?"
Interestingly enough, whenever I mention my "home," I have always managed to confuse people. Having lived in so many places, moved around so much, no one ever really knows exactly where I am from and where I consider mi hogar. Somehow though, as confusing as it may be to others, I have never been able to get rid of the habit of not specifying the "home" that I am referring to... This is because to me, throughout these years, my "home" has always been where my family is. Thus, for the past eight years, although I have only physically been there for barely two years, and have spent much more time in the Boston area and in Baltimore, I have considered my "home" to be Beijing.
However, now that I am no longer in school, it appears that I may need to reconsider my definition of "home."
For the very first time in my life, I am no longer financially dependent upon my family; I am now earning my own salary, and can afford to survive on my own. Having a full-time job is a rather strange concept really. Yes, I am very much settled in, comfortable and very happy with my job, but thinking about it, this is a completely alien world when compared to the ones that I was in for the previous 22 years of my life. For one, I have now included the word "coworkers" in my every-day vocabulary. I am not just hanging out with my classmates and ex-classmates anymore - I am spending most of my time with this new category of people in my life. While having dinner with a college friend the other day, as I was telling her about a fantastic Saturday evening that I spent with my coworkers, she smiled and commented, "It's so strange to hear you talking about 'hanging out with your coworkers!'" At that moment, it really dawned on me how crazy it is to hear myself talk about things related to work rather than things related to school. For the past ~20 years of my life, everything revolved around school. Now I really have taken a big step into the real world, with work replacing school and coworkers to hang around with on a daily basis instead of classmates and schoolmates. I have truly become an adult.
Perhaps I will delve into this topic a little further next time, but for now, I would like to go back to redefining my home/mi hogar/chez moi/我的家.
Hong Kong. This wonderfully international, vibrant, entertaining and ridiculously cramped city. The city where I spent the most number of years in my life (seven), where I met so many of my friends, where I return to every year to visit. I never really thought that I would be living here again... Seeing as I have always considered it too small and cramped and boring (among many other issues that I have with it). Really though, what do I do every time I am in Hong Kong? I always meet with my old friends of course. But what do I do when I meet with my old friends? We shop, we eat. Then we shop, and we eat some more. And the cycle continues so that by the time I leave, I gain about a bazillion pounds and way too many new pieces of clothing that I really do not need. I never have the time to do much else since I am always only here for a very short period of time.
This city is indeed a food and shopping paradise. But being here this time around, "permanently," as I sometimes put it to my friends, I get the chance to experience more things - things that the eight to 14-year-old me could not have experienced, things that the 15 to 21-year-old me did not have the time to experience. It has been so incredible to be able to see friends that I have known for 10+ years on a more regular basis, to be able to simply call them up and plan a lunch or a dinner or a get-together for the coming weeks and even months. Getting to know more people, too, has been an amazing experience, and I could not have asked for a better way to begin my post-college life.
As I am settling in (again), I have learned to love this city (again). Yes, it is cramped. Yes, it rains way too much in the summer and the humidity can get ridiculously uncomfortable. Yes, my apartment here is much smaller than the apartment I lived in back in college and much, much smaller compared to my home in Beijing. Yes, it is frustrating to have to fight the rush hour crowds to get onto the MTR and not arrive at work too late. But at the same time, there are so many extraordinary things about living here. I can see all my old friends, and meet so many new friends. I can speak English, Mandarin, Cantonese and even Spanish daily with all these people in my life. I am much closer to my family again, and I can pop back to Beijing way more than a measly twice per year. I can eat so many different types of delicious foodstuffs easily. I can wear shorts and t-shirts even in November. I can go running outside, not choke on pollution and see the gorgeous Victoria Harbour at the same time. I could go on, but as you can see, I am enjoying my life here and loving Hong Kong again. The city is different from what it was when I was a child, yet so much remains unchanged. I count myself very lucky to be able to start the rest of my life in a place that I am quite familiar with. Of course, much remains to be explored, and I cannot wait to see what Hong Kong has to offer me.
So for now, this is home. I should probably learn to start calling it that now.
Hong Kong, my home.
Hong Kong, mi hogar.
Hong Kong, chez moi.
香港，我的家。
